I'm so glad you're here!

Welcome to my internal world.

It is my honor to share pieces of my heart and soul with you.

I hope you feel safe here.

I hope you feel seen here.

I hope we all heal here.

The Body Keeps It All

I wrote this years ago, drained and lost in my own body, so tired of being who I am. Sometimes I wish I could live in someone else's body--one without networks of knots that I have to use all my energy to untie just to feel like getting out of bed, just to feel like I'm a human worthy of anything at all. One where I don't feel betrayed by my own existence. One that allows me to live free from the constraints of the trauma it has withstood. I often wish I was different; I wish

"As Is"

4 days ago

On Transformation

I wonder if in the days before it emerges, a butterfly is scared of what's to come, of who she will be, if she will have done enough to...

Oct 10

What's that saying,

"A daughter's first love is her father" or something ridiculous like that. Or they say "little girls will grow up and search for their...

Oct 8

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Writing has been a gift in my life,

a way to process, feel and move energy through and out of my body. I've been writing since I was in 5th grade when I wrote my first poem. I remember a teacher finding it and being blown away while I sat quietly, not quite understanding this response or why she wanted me to type it up and frame it. I wrote it about my mom after she left and when she read it weeks later, she sobbed. I don't remember much of that time, but I know writing helped me to express things that I didn't know how to say out loud, before I realized I had anything to say at all. It helped me to...

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Just a lil something;

“I wrote this years ago, drained and lost in my own body, so tired of being who I am. Sometimes I wish I could live in someone else’s body—one without networks of knots that I have to use all my energy to untie just to feel like getting out of bed, just to feel like I’m a human worthy of anything at all. One where I don’t feel betrayed by my own existence. One that allows me to live free from the constraints of the trauma it has withstood….”#original #songwriter #originalmusic #jesseonrecord #thebodykeepsthescore #healing

Full passage on JesseOnRecord.com 🩵

Grief is so complex and can be so huge and so heavy and feel impossible to hold. But it gets better. And then worse again but it always gets better 🩵 my future self sent this song to me; it’s a rough version but I’m sharing it anyway 🙂

Read the passage on my website, JesseOnRecord.com 🩵

#itgetsbetter #thistooshalłpass #grief #griefrecovery #healing #grieving #livinggrief

Full Passage on JesseOnRecord.com🩵

“Any wound but the mother wound” I said to myself, writhing on the couch in my air bnb, crying and gasping for air, “I would take any wound over the mother wound.” The pain is felt beyond any words I could ever find. Heavy in my chest, sick-to-my-stomach, ‘please erase me from the earth”, twisted tight like a towel mid-wringing, physical, cutting pain. Though I may try, it is indescribable.

Here is a snippet of my attempt🩵

#original #songwriter #originalmusic #innerchildhealing #motherwound #innerchildhealing

Full passage is on my website JesseOnRecord.com, link in bio🩵

In December of 2024 I left MN to spend 2 months in California. Just before I left, I found my Mother Wound; a heavy, dark boulder that lives inside my chest and weighs heavy on my abdomen.“Any wound but the mother wound” I said to myself, writhing on the couch in my air bnb, crying and gasping for air, “I would take any wound over the mother wound.” The pain is felt beyond any words I could ever find. Heavy in my chest, sick-to-my-stomach, ‘please erase me from the earth”, twisted tight like a towel mid-wringing, physical, cutting pain. Though I may try, it is indescribable.
My mom carries one, too, and her mom, and her grandma and all the generations before.
While I was in California at the beginning of 2025, I held it and wished I could crack it open. I wished I could yank it from my mother’s chest and throw it off a mountain. She may never understand how deep her wounds are or where they came from. She may never have the chance, or the drive, to turn some of the rocks into sand, and it breaks my heart. She didn’t deserve this heavy, silent, gut-wrenching sadness, and neither did I, but this curse wasn’t hers to break. It’s mine.
I wrote this ‘song’ for her. For me, my little sisters and all the daughters and children with sore shoulders from carrying backpacks full of rocks they never asked for. And I wrote the passage below to help me make sense of the insidiousness of the centuries of the existence of these boulders.
#original #motherwound #healing #innerchildhealing #singer #writer #songwriter #jesseonrecord

A mash up! I’ve never had this happen before, writing 2 different songs and realizing they’re meant to go together.

Life isn’t supposed to be easy, but we are all right where we are supposed to be.🩷

Covid is kicking my ass but I miss creating so much😭

#mashup #singersongwriter #singersofinstagram #original #workinprogress #create #write

Here, have 1 minute of Daya’s right ear. I call it her Nemo ear, the other one is fine but she had surgery for a hematoma so it’s not as spunky as her right ear😂 #pitbull #pitbullsofinstagram #nemo #nemoear #goofy #pitbullbehavior #oneearopen

Whew, this one is tough for me to post. To you my dear, to the precious little peanuts in your life, to all the people whose normal has always been dysfunction & dystopia, you are not alone🩵

There is an immense grief that sits on top of the cards that held us hostage.

I know it all too well, and I wrap my whole heart around you if you do, too. 🩷

#innerchild #innerchildhealing #cardswearedealt #grief #protectkids #original #originalmusic #discover #vocalist #songwriter

Dear you, we are so lucky to have you.🩵

Getting to perform this letter to myself has been one of the most powerful experiences of my life. The impact people have told me it’s had on them is the greatest gift I could ever receive.

Take it easy on yourself, now.🩵

#original #innerchildhealing #innerchild #healing #letter to myself #healing #originalmusic #singersofinstagram #vocalistsofinstagram #singersongwriter #singersongwritersofinstagram

Remember this one? It’s evolved and set for release in February 2024!🥳 stay tuned 😎

#newsingle #originalmusic #singersongwritersofinstagram #vocalistsofinstagram #vocals #otw #lonely #singersofinstagram #fyp #discover

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